Woman in the Underworld
How I Battled Depression and Made Peace with the Monster & Myself.
A book by Clara Young, Ph.D.
“More than 20 year ago, I was diagnosed with depression and I wanted to kill myself every day. Almost every night, I’d walk into the kitchen and place a knife on my wrist, while everyone was sleeping. Out of sheer desperation, I tried antidepressants and ended up in the emergency room screaming. I found myself lying half naked and shivering on a gurney in a cold and dark hospital hallway with an excruciating pain in the brain all alone. 10 years later, it happened again. I realized then that I had to find an alternative way to treat my depression or I wasn’t going to survive. It took me years, but I was finally able to manage my depression naturally. I didn’t want to kill myself everyday. I wanted to live. I found the elusive hope.”
The first half of the book consists of essays I wrote while I was deeply immersed in the depression, in hopes of giving each reader a rare glimpse into a mind plagued by rage, hopelessness and waste. I was held hostage in the underworld of decaying souls. I couldn’t even get out of my room. All I could do was write.
The second half of the book consist of what I call, “healing methods,” These are the treatment methods that took me decades to develop to save my own life and to fight the demons of hopelessness and death. I have shared these methods with other victims of depression and I use them every single day to manage my depression symptoms, so I can function and live my life the best that I can.The healing methods are natural, drug free, affordable and effective long term.
In addition to the essays and the healing methods to treat depression for a lifetime, I’ve discovered an unlikely gem in a hellish journey in the underworld. My depression took me into a a dark side of my psyche, that I would’ve never discovered otherwise. There lay a gem, a mysterious treasure, that was never touched, seen or felt, and eventually, it became a powerful survival tool and a gift, to not only fight the demons of depression and climb out of the underworld on my own, but a gift to see the disorder, not as a monster, but a tortured ally, which was all part of me. And, that all lead to a calmer, compassionate, and serene existence with my depression, as well as myself. So, my suffering was never a waste. My depression was a journey of self-discovery and I found more than I could’ve have ever imagined.